Me, Myself and I

The gift of self-awareness is one of the greatest we possess and is simultaneously our biggest challenge. It lies at the very heart of the problem in the human condition.

I don’t believe that the fundamental issue with humanity is one of sin but rather one of self.

Our obsession with self, manifest in its most primal form as self-preservation and in its most evolved form as self-indulgence, predisposes us to sinful behaviour.

It was precisely our awareness of and preference for self that resulted in sin in the first place.

Sin is, and always will be, preceded by a concern for self.

Of all the manifestations of self-interest, I reckon self-righteousness is the most dangerous and destructive.

Contrary to popular belief, it actually resides in all of us, and it’s the primary reason we are so ready to judge others while remaining blissfully blind to our shortcomings and inconsistencies.

Self-righteousness causes us to see ourselves in the most favourable light but others in the most questionable.

Self-righteousness moves us to evaluate others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.

Ironically, the fact that we question the presence of self-righteousness in our hearts proves it has already taken root.

I think that is why Jesus said that to be his disciples, we must deny ourselves daily (Luke 9:23). He knew it would be the primary obstacle in our journey with him.

Of course, self-denial and the call of Jesus to embrace it do require some clarification.

Self-denial is not self-abandonment, nor is it self-abuse or self-neglect.

Unfortunately, in religious environments like ours, self-denial is often erroneously understood as at least the attempt to deprive the self and, at worst, an attempt to annihilate the self altogether.

Ironically, that would be a very self-centred understanding of self-denial.

It’s funny that we are so bent in on ourselves that even our efforts at self-denial are self-focused and all about us.

A better way to understand the call to self-denial is to see the others-centredness in it.

The call to deny self is a call to put others first, and while the one implies the other, the order is incredibly important.

That subtle but essential priority in focus was expressed beautifully in an exhortation from the apostle Paul:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus”. – Philippians 2:3-5 (NIV)

Deny yourself by giving preference to others, by putting others first. This is the way of love, the way of Christ.

Of course, this stands in stark contrast to the secular “salvation” schema that currently dominates the cultural West.

In this way of thinking, self-discovery is the “redemption” of our souls from the oppression of imposed social, cultural and institutional expectations and assumptions.

We find true ‘salvation’ (liberation) by uncovering our “true” selves, and our only obligation in life is to live the most authentic version of ourselves in service of our own happiness.

While I believe that the best gift you can give anyone is your true self and your best self, the call of Christ nevertheless is a call to provide yourself with the truest, healthiest and best version of yourself in others-centred loving service.

As Jesus said, it’s only in losing our life for His sake that we truly find it.

In an age of self-actualisation, self-aggrandisement, and self-empowerment, the message of Christ seems strangely out of place, yet maybe it’s the secret to the life we have all been dreaming of.