The Pursuit of Happiness

Aristotle was undoubtedly one of the greatest philosophical minds of Western civilization.

He maintained that happiness is humankind’s primary pursuit and ultimate purpose, the one thing for which there is no greater reason. 

By that, he meant that we study so that we can work, so that we can earn, so that we can purchase, so that we can consume, so that we can be happy so that we can… well so that we can be happy. 

Happiness is a kind of end in itself.

According to Aristotle, happiness is achieved throughout a lifetime by realising all the “good” that one is capable of materially, socially, and intellectually.

In other words, it’s more than a self-indulgent, hedonistic moment of pleasure.

Happiness results from a lifetime of pursuing excellence, developing contentment, and cultivating character.

Aristotle also argued that virtue is the mean or middle way between extremes and that moderation is the secret to both virtue and happiness.

For example, he identified courage as the mean between cowardice and recklessness and confidence as the mean between self-deprecation and arrogance. 

For Aristotle, balance is an essential ingredient in the recipe for happiness. 

Some have suggested that the only way to be happy is to detach from all external sources of pleasure and turn within to find true happiness. This is one of the central tenets of Eastern philosophies like Buddhism. 

Still, others say that recent studies in the science of happiness suggest that it is largely genetic and that everyone has a “happiness range” in which they tend to remain, regardless of what happens to them or around them. 

At the end of the day, we all want to be happy, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

As someone who believes in the existence of a good and loving Creator, I believe God also wants us to be happy.

The question is, however, how do we pursue happiness in a healthy and godly way?

How do we avoid the pitfalls of self-centred narcissism and hedonism on the one hand and self-denying asceticism on the other while pursuing our happiness?

If we are indeed genetically predisposed toward a specific range of happiness, how do we maximise the time we spend at the top of our range?

I want to suggest that there are five essential practices in the pursuit of happiness that, when consistently applied, will lead us to a deeply rewarding and satisfying life that is also God-honouring.

1. Do what you love.

By that, I mean give the best of your time and attention to the things that energise you and don’t have to artificially “manufacture” energy for.

These are the activities you enjoy doing that bring you pleasure and nourish your soul.

For me, that includes thinking, reading, writing, communicating, being in nature, wildlife photography, playing poker with friends, eating good food, and having deep and meaningful conversations about life and faith.

Knowing what you love and doing it regularly is essential to cultivating a healthy soul.

For some people, even knowing what they love is a challenge because they spend so much time doing only what they need to do that they have lost sight of what their soul really wants to do. 

For others, the challenge is that they know exactly what they love doing, but guilt, shame, and the relentless demands of life’s daily distractions keep them from doing it. 

At the end of the day, a healthy soul is a happy soul, so do everything you can to find the time to feed your soul by doing what you love. 

2. Do what you are good at.

By this, I mean the things people celebrate and appreciate you for.

These skills, talents, or abilities come naturally and easily to you but have been crafted and cultivated over the years to become unique sources of value-add.

For me, that includes communicating (teaching, writing, coaching), thinking (strategy, planning, analysis) and creating (drawing, painting and capturing beauty in nature through photography).

If you aren’t sure what these are for you, ask the people around you or pay careful attention to what people say about you.

What do they regularly thank you for? What do they appreciate most about you? What aspects of your work or character do they often praise?

You will likely only ever be exceptional at one or two things in life. Knowing what they are and focusing on those strengths will enable you to make valuable contributions to the communities and organisations you are part of.

Don’t waste time trying to develop your weaknesses. There are other ways to manage the areas of character and ability where you are not naturally strong.

Spend the best of your time and energy turning your strengths into superpowers, and you will be significantly more effective and fulfilled.

3. Be true to yourself.

The one person you spend more time with than any other is you, so you must get to know yourself well.

The better you know and understand yourself, the easier it will be to love and accept who you are.

There is no one else who is exactly like you.

No one occupies the space in the universe that you do.

So don’t waste your time trying to be a cheap imitation of somebody else. Be yourself and be the best version of yourself you can possibly be.

Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Speak truthfully but lovingly to yourself.

Be ready and willing to change what needs to change to be the healthiest and most authentic version of yourself.

Don’t pretend to believe things you don’t really believe just to be rewarded or applauded.

Have the courage to acknowledge your true convictions and beliefs, and don’t give up your integrity for company.

Say what you think with thoughtfulness, respect, clarity, and conviction.

Don’t fear rejection. Fear being accepted as someone you are not.

An authentic soul is a happy soul.

4. Be with people who understand you.

By this, I mean you should spend significant amounts of time with people who not only love you and trust you but also understand you.

Loneliness is a feeling we are all familiar with, but loneliness is not something we feel when we are alone. It’s what we feel when the people we are with don’t understand us.

The people who “get” you, enjoy you and are always there for you are pure gold.

You don’t need many of them, but you do need a few. And it would be best if you spent lots of time with them.

These are the people you can be 100% yourself with, the people who know you and love you for who you truly are.

They will laugh with you, cry with you, care for you, and lean on you in their hour of need.

They will nourish your soul precisely because they know how you think, understand what moves you, and can love you how you prefer to be loved.

A connected and accepted soul will be a happy soul.

5. Love God in all of the above.

Some may wonder why God isn’t at the top of the list.

Well, I certainly believe that knowing and loving God is the ultimate source of happiness, but knowing and loving happens in the context of all of the above.

God doesn’t want to be first on your list. He wants to be central to everything that makes it onto the list.

God isn’t just an essential part of our lives or even the number one priority in our lives. He is integral to everything that makes up our lives.

Prioritise God in your friendships, conversations, passions, play, work, family, sexuality, and every other part of who you are and what you do, and He will enrich it all with purpose and joy.

By allowing God’s presence and power to permeate every aspect of your life, you position your life to be a source of love, joy, peace, and purpose for others.

The very nature of God is others-centred love, so when God is at the centre of all that you are and all that you do, everything becomes an expression of others-centred love.

Of course, there are times when this requires sacrifice and self-denial, but these are never at the expense of our souls’ well-being. In fact, they flow out of a healthy, happy soul and are only made possible by being a healthy, happy soul.

In a somewhat paradoxical fashion, only when we prioritise the health and happiness of our souls can we be truly free to do the same for others.